trust 'n' dreams

How do you sleep?

Often I will toss and turn a little bit but generally sleep through the night, waking in the morning with almost no memory of what's happened in the last 6+ hours. But occasionally, I will remember a dream....

Dreams about people and fishing, parties and conflicts, friends and family, talking pets and moving furniture, 'monsters' and traveling, laughter and drama, past, present, and future. And then when you wake up you know it was just a dream...

... except sometimes. Sometimes a dream is so real you have to really question if it was a dream or if it really happened. Last night I had a dream of an email (I know, not a hugely interesting thing to say I was dreaming about - but you don't know what was in the email), and this morning I had to check to see if it was real or not. It wasn't, and I didn't think it was, but I couldn't be sure - I didn't trust myself, I had to check. Have you ever had a dream like that?

How much can we really trust ourselves?
And if we can't trust ourselves entirely, who can we trust entirely?

Personally, I only know of one person I can trust entirely - and that's Jesus. Because he's always honest, true, caring, just, there, and unchanging. I can trust Him entirely - can you?

6 months later...

Today we were talking about foresight and hindsight during a bible study, how different things appear when you're planning, living, and reflecting. And it got me thinking - when I look back and reflect on my current life, what will I think?

I moved a couple months ago, at the beginning of September. New town, new people, new place, new church, new role... old me? Sometimes this is what we want, but the truth is we never stay exactly the same, and while sometimes that might sound scary actually it's a really good thing.

I'm sometimes afraid of change. Of needing to start from scratch, of 'opening up' yet again, of putting in the extra effort it takes to establish good relationships - and then keep them, of not having the time with all of the new things to keep up those relationships from the 'old', of being made into something different from what you are - or have been.

But mostly, when I get past all of the surface things, the little worries and the insecurities we pile on ourselves, I'm excited about change. If we didn't change, if we stayed exactly the same - always, we'd be a bit like robots, and we'd be stuck. Change means a potential - to grow, to learn, to truly experience.

When I have hindsight of this part of my life - I'm sure there are things which I'll say 'I shouldn't have done that', or 'that was a real blessing', or 'why didn't i see/do that sooner' - I think I will see it as a time of change. What I hope is that it's all change in the right direction, in the right way.

Looking forward to myself looking back gives me a different perspective on my life now, and makes me want to change some things for the better - which just yesterday I didn't notice as clearly because I was only focusing on the day to day. I wonder, if you do the same thing, how will you see your own life?

Much Love


For Christians the concept or idea of change should be really exciting, because without it life isn't possible - not the way we know it to be anyway. The way we know God is by the Holy Spirit living within us, who is also working within us - changing us to be more and more like Him. Change here is a good thing - taking us away from every evil thing, both in the physical and spiritual world, and within us, and bringing us towards God, our eternal Father. And on that last day when Christ returns there will be another change as each of us is transformed from our current lowly and temporary state to our eternal one.

blogging and reasons

It seems to me that when you actually make time to sit down and write a blog post you can't think of anything to say, yet during the rest of the week there are a hundred different incidents or thoughts which you could write on.

Sometimes it's that your mind goes completely blank, there's things there yet as soon as you open up that web browser it's like it's suddenly empty. White perhaps. There's not even anything at the back of your mind, or even an annoying tick-tock or drip-drip sound - just nothing.

Sometimes it's that there's plenty of things in your mind but it's like they're zooming around so fast (if you could enter them into the speedway you'd be a winner) that you don't actually know what any of the individual thoughts are, all you can recognize is that there's something there - actually, lots of somethings there but you have no idea what they actually are.

Sometimes it's that there's so many things in your head that you just can't pin one down, make a choice, decide. As soon as you do though, you can't think of anything to write about it because all that's in your head is all the other things (better things) that you could be writing about - crazy!

Sometimes it's that you know what you want to write about, sort of, but suddenly you just completely forget how to speak English - and it's my only language! All that comes out is abstract sounds and gobble-dee-gook.

Sometimes it's that you can think of plenty of things that you'd love to share with people but somehow as soon as you write it down, it just doesn't sound the same - it's not as funny, or interesting, or profound, as it was in your memory, your head.

And when any of these things happen you suddenly don't feel like writing a blog just now, yet at the same time you really want to, because part of you is telling you that you can't, and/or that's what you're supposed to be doing now!

But then again, while true, these are also just excuses (placing blame) and the frustrated ravings of a blogger, when all I should really be saying is... 'sorry for not writing for a while now'. Let's keep ourselves honest.

a quick note to my readers

I've been writing this blog, sometime regularly, sometimes irregularly, for almost 4 years now... that sounds like a long time, but it really doesn't feel that long - I suppose because I really do enjoy writing here, and sharing with you all.

I just want to say that I'm sorry if I start repeating some things, because honestly, I don't remember everything I've written.

And if I do, it's obviously something which I really want to share with you all, so you should read it anyway - and perspectives may have changed too... mine and yours.
I'm now looking forward to the next 4 years and all that they will bring, and to sharing those times with you if you will also stay with me.

 

With love...

This is Jesus

Next week is CICCU's (Cambridge Inter-Collegiate Christian Union) Main Event, this year titled 'This is Jesus'. The video below is quite good... I think. What do you think?

 

This is Jesus: Something More from CICCU on Vimeo.

What do you think of... ?

If I were to say to you 'blue' what would you think of?

The colour, the sky or ocean, the feeling, or maybe a person...

If I were to say to you 'oil' what would you think of?

Cooking, fast-food, or maybe plants or fields where it comes from, or maybe natural products, or lanterns, or maybe drilling, or ships, or perhaps sick animals... 

If I were to say to you 'far' what would you think of?

The other side of town, or maybe the next city, the end of your country, surrounding countries, across the ocean, the opposite side of the world, the moon, or perhaps beyond the stars, or fantasy lands, or perhaps happiness, family, the end...

If I were to say to you 'new' what would you think of?

Clothes/tools/car/electronics, or maybe food/design/invention, or perhaps year, or opportunity, or friends/family, or life...

If I were to say to you 'god' what would you think of?

...