It's a minefield mindfield!

I feel like blogging is dying. Or to a wider extent the art of the written word. Vlogging and audio is taking over. But then, I'm not doing anything to help this predicament by only posting a couple times a year.

As an occasional blogger I often forget what the last thing was I wrote about, and when. I say wrote, but I actually feel like I'm talking to you - that's the way I write. Perhaps I should get into vlogging since I already write that way... sorry, back on topic. I often forget... and so I will go back and read the last few entries before I write a new post. The thing is, I'm so often surprised by what I read - like, did I really say that, that sounds really wise or eloquent or thought out which just isn't the way I see myself day to day... but then again, I have to be in a special kind of mood to write a blog normally. Or get me when I'm really tired (I mean REALLY tired) and I can get really philosophical, so much so I confuse myself.

Do you guys ever get that? Just like do a double take, 'did that really just come out of my mouth, my head?!' But then I start to feel bad. I was so right, that's really good advice - I'm not doing that at all, I should start to take my own advice. How many of you guys neglect to take your own advice as well?

It's 2016! Can you believe it? I'm sure that the older I get the faster time is passing. Or perhaps they secretly embed us with something when we're young to change our conception of time as we get older as an attempt to lower suicide, depression, and other such bad things - because just imagine what it would be like for some people if time passed as slowly now as it did when we were three or four years old. Oh my goodness, the year would never end as opposed to currently flying by.

Anyway, I wanted to catch you all up a little bit on me. (That sounds so self centred). A lot's been happening in my life recently, but also not much at all. On the outside life is pretty quiet and calm, and on the inside it's a metaphorical minefield just waiting to explode! (My mind scares me sometimes). So, there are four main things I'd like to share with you in a vague manner - work, study, health, and faith.

Work. I got a new job last September which was awesome because it was in a position I've never had before, and I enjoy it and it's during the day. But... I don't want to stay in it. Honestly, I like working during the day because it means I'm actually sleeping properly for the first time in I don't know how long but I'm tired of being shut up inside all day - I want to be able to go outside and enjoy some of the sunshine (especially now that we're actually getting some) and I don't like the stressful environment of my workplace either. So, good and bad.

Study. I don't know if I've talked about this before or not, but I am a terrible student. I'm not just saying that either, it's true. I always said that I would never do any more study once I finished my Bachelor because I knew that it would kill me and it would be unfair towards any of my lecturers/tutors/classmates/friends - basically anyone around me. But, I have started a Masters (via correspondence). I say I've started but that's only sort of true, because I've started twice and stopped twice - third times a charm, right?

Health. I have a few different health problems which have stuck with me over the years, the main one being IBS. This was playing up quite a bit end of last year and so the start of this year I decided that my goal for the year (a new years resolution of sorts) was to get all around healthier. So, I worked out what was making me sick, started being more active, readjusted my eating habits, started sleeping proper hours, began a fitness regime. Some weeks are better than others (last week was a bad week) but overall I am already feeling healthier. You're very welcome to check in with me on this, and keep me accountable over the next year.

Faith. As you'll know or will have worked out if you know me at all, or have read any of my other blogs - I'm a Christian. Not just a label to give myself, but honestly believe that Jesus was a real man and is God, and is the Christ (the promised saviour) who is still alive today and will return to judge everyone and that our ultimate purpose in life is to be in relationship with God through Him. These things I still believe. I'd like to say unwaveringly or without a doubt but that would be a lie, there are times, now and again, when there will be that moment when you say to yourself, 'Do I really believe that? That sounds crazy.' but in the same moment I also say yes, I do believe that, and I believe it because.... a, b, c. It's not blind faith, it's faith with it's eyes wide open. But I have been struggling a lot recently with spending time with God - with reading my Bible, with intentional prayer, with being 'still'. And also I have been challenged or confused or investigating, I don't know what the right word is to use, on a number of different issues related to the church (institution), the church (body), and the Christian life (morals/ethics). The church (institution) has got things wrong in the past and makes you wonder and question if perhaps they have some things wrong now. And upon reading the Bible, and listening to differing opinions on different issues sometimes I come back being unconvinced either way which is extremely frustrating! (So, this is mainly what's messing with my head)

Okay, I think that's the end of my ramblings today. If you have any thoughts or questions or suggestions, etc. please comment below. Thanks for making it to the end!