Slowing Down

Whoops.. I've missed a couple entries. Oh well, we cannot change what is already past. If we could, would we ever turn to God? Or just leave it to ourselves to fix everything up for ourselves?

Anyway, am spending my time split almost evenly between country and city. It is great but it is also strange to feel so at home that you belong completely there in both places. Still don't have a job but am still getting more and more to do. It's nice to always have something to do, somewhere to go, someone to see again. In this way everything is speeding up and go go go, to keep up and not miss anything.

Am also finding that as I settle more into something I begin to slow down. Or rather, I feel like I'm slowing down even if I am in fact going the same speed. It's one of those strange phenomenons we all notice and have encountered with time and the way it passes. The way things creep up on us as if time is passing so fast and yet the beginning of the year was, well, forever ago.

Am working with kids in school again. On a voluntary basis once a week at the moment. While I still say I'm not a teacher I cannot deny that I enjoy working with kids and showing them new things. I just keep wondering what God has in store.. but only time will tell that, and Gods time not our own.

Patience. It really is a gift. And it pays off in the long run. Just think of a cocoon and how long that caterpillar needs to wait. It can't get all agitated and impatient and anxious but has to just trust, rest, and wait. And look how it is rewarded at the end! Now, don't read too much into that, it's just an example. Kind of where my thoughts are at the moment, caught up in time. Especially with all that has been happening around the world recently.

So, my question to you. If you could have one do-over, what would it be?

God Bless

Endings and Beginnings

Don't really have much to say today but thought I had better put something up as I am leaving tomorrow morning and I have a feeling that the next couple days are not going to leave me feeling like updating this thing anytime soon so..

I mentioned last time that I really do not like goodbyes. Part of this is because it is a focus on the past, on what has been, and sometimes we just get too caught up in this to look forwards to where we are heading, to where God is guiding us.

You know that saying that sometimes when a door closes another one opens. Well sometimes it seems like there is no other door, there is just a room with one door in and out.. look for a window! Not everything is in our face, or obvious, but God is always there for us and if we go the wrong way, He will put us back on the right path.

What I am looking at at the moment is a new beginning, and I am excited to be going and trying to find out what God has in store for me. After all, we are to spread the gospel and do his work, not just sit back in our comfort zone with our friends and family around us, but to keep them while going forth and making new ones as well.

So, let us be strong, unafraid, and go forth! After all, if we are with God, we know that no matter what happens it will all be okay in the end, as He knows what is best for us, even more than we do!

God Bless.

Goodbye

I don't know about you, but I really don't like saying goodbye. The way it gets awkward because you know it's going to be the last time, at least for a while that you're going to see this person. How you don't quite know when to let go, whether to hold on for longer or just get it over with quick. The way it actually signals that it is the end of something and so you can't quite hold onto it the same way any longer.

Most of the time I like to just slip away un-noticed and avoid the goodbyes altogether. This is partly due to my dislike of attention and partly because it brings everything into attention.

Just recently I was 'surprised' with a surprise farewell that some of my friends organised for me and I am ashamed to say that I wasn't very good about it. At least at first anyway. Having just been greated by a room full of smiling faces my response was sorry, the surprise didn't work. My natural reaction to anything slightly surprising or which catches me off guard is defence. So automatic reaction is BARRIERS UP! DEFEND! Don't let anyone see what is actually going on inside.

It is only afterwards that I actually realise what has already been done though and it is too late to alter things or make an apology without bringing it all up again. But more than this my focus was on myself at that moment in time and not on those others in the room. My friends whom God has blessed into my life. That they had taken the time out to come and sneak in to surprise me. That they had organised this for me. I felt so very loved and overwhelmed at the same time that I could do nothing more than hide it and hurl unkind words.

So, I am sorry. And I am very thankful. Please forgive me. I feel very blessed to know that you consider me a friend and are willing to put in the time and effort to see me before I leave. I pray now that I too may be a worthy friend to you, that I too may be able to put in that time and effort to keep up with each of you even while I am absent.

God Bless.